There should be a law against most internal company conferences. No … I really should!

My name is Bob Etherington and I am a veteran of at least 100 of those things in the last 40 years and almost all of them should never have been allowed. Well … let me rephrase that, just a little bit: plenary sessions should never have been allowed. That is the moment when the audience sits row after row in semi-dark theater style, while their bosses and colleagues speak to them. Sometimes they admonish them; compliment them on everything and generally show them PowerPoint slides every time. “This is what they want!” Yeah right!

I asked a senior manager of a large British company what his main objective was when he got on the conference platform. He replied, without hesitation, “I’m trying to impress them!”

But Geoff (that’s his name, so now if you read this you’ll know it’s him) your audience doesn’t want to hear about ‘You’. They are not in the least interested in ‘You’. And you [dear reader] they are not in the least interested in Bob Etherington … that’s the way it is.

Of course, what the conference audience is asking – a man – is the same unspoken question you have in your head reading this: “What’s in this for ME?”

Your audience – any conference audience – seeks to be generally and personally inspired to work hard so the company can make even more money in the upcoming fiscal year. You know from all the management courses you have attended that the art of management is to get staff to voluntarily do what needs to be done anyway. So telling them all the good and worthwhile jobs YOU have completed won’t get them to do anything. Remember David Brent’s (Ricky Gervais) speech to his staff on the early 2000 BBCTV sitcom ‘The Office’. “I have good news and bad news today. The bad news is that we are merging with the Swindon office, so some of you will be fired.” [Silence and shocked faces] … But the good news is … I’ve been promoted !! [More dumbfounded silence] … Oh … I can see that some of you are still on the bad news! “We wince because we have witnessed such rude statements in the real business world. It is not as rare as we hope.

In a recent HR survey it was firmly established once again that what people value most in their work is not what many managers think it is. The most important factors are:

1) Feeling appreciated.

2) Have something interesting to do.

3) Stay on the inside track.

4) Sympathy for personal problems.

5) Money.

6) A happy work environment.

7) Promotion of prospects.

8) Occupational safety.

So to inspire the tight ranks of your employees to show up early, stay late (and work hard while they work for you), tell them how good they are and congratulate them. If times are tough, keep them on the inner track by telling them what’s going on. Cut the rumors in step and tell them what you are doing to fix things for them. Tell them how they will personally benefit from doing what needs to be done.

Also have good manners to rehearse your presentation in front of a similar level person in your company and ask for genuine feedback on how the message is getting across. Showing up with a memory card containing all your PowerPoint slides half an hour early and hoping for the best is not an inspirational move. Victoria’s Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli said that “everyone loves flattery … but with royalty you put it on with a lollipop.” Your staff, like my staff at Bob Etherington Group, are your royalty and nothing happens without them. His “stuff” about his department and his personal triumphs is not what most internal audiences want to hear. They are there to be inspired. So inspire them … flatter them … Say: “Thank you” … “I’m proud of you” … “Well done!” (the rarest and most powerful words in the management lexicon)

Now you are talking about business!

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