Every time our children graduate from one stage to the next (ie crawl – walk, preschool – school, high school – graduation) we as parents are excited and a little sad too. We want our children to grow up, but we remember the “good old days.” I think those mixed feelings are normal for all of us. My question to you is, “Are your children growing up too fast emotionally and socially?” We cannot stop their physical growth, but we can effect their emotional and social growth.
Our society is compressing childhood more and more so that children are not children for long. We only have 18 years in our whole life to be children. We fight as parents to keep our children innocent. Unfortunately, the events of September 11 further robbed our children of innocence.
Children are not little adults. Children often dress up as miniature adults. Children want to emulate their teenage or adult heroes when dressing and speaking. As parents, we are fighting a raging river to keep our children young and innocent. Society, schools and parents are putting pressure on children to grow up too fast.
Answer the following questions to see if your children are growing too fast.
1. Do your children want to wear clothes designed for much older children?
2. Do your younger children want to watch TV shows designed for teens? Do your teens want to watch adult TV shows that contain sex and violence?
3. Are the books your children read appropriate for their age?
4. Are your children involved in so many extracurricular activities that they don’t have free time to simply explore or have fun?
5. Are your children losing that wonderful “childish” sense of wonder at the world or are they all-knowing?
6. Do you think that your children are becoming more and more patient and you have to entertain them? Do you often say that I am bored?
7. Can you remember the last time you told your child that you are not old enough to know about a certain topic and that we will talk about it when you are older?
8. When was the last time you told your children “No, you can’t do that until you are older or those clothes are not acceptable to wear in our family?”
9. Do you monitor the music your children listen to, the computer games they play, the Internet sites they visit? Are they age appropriate?
10. Do your children hang out with much older children who are not a good influence?
Hopefully, these questions have made you stop and think about how fast your children are growing. Due to the pressures of society, you will have to make a concerted effort to keep your children innocent. There will be pressure from parents and children to force their children to do things early. You may not be a popular parent when you say No to something “everyone else is doing.” Being a parent is not for the faint hearted or a popularity contest.
In closing, let me refer to a recent example. She was watching a morning news shoe and they were talking about summer camps for kids. The guest said more and more kids are looking to computer and science camps to boost their resumes for college. I found myself yelling at the television, “Why can’t you just enjoy camp, instead of making it look good on a resume? When did camp stop being fun and start being a job?”
Remember the wise words of King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 3:1: “Everything has its time, and everything under heaven has its time.” Childhood is a precious time and everything is ready too soon, keep your children innocent and protect your childhood.
© 2004 Kimberly Chastain
