When a law firm hires me to work with a junior associate, very often a part of the commitment centers on the associate’s leadership presence and self-confidence – how he presents himself to others. (Of course, that approach isn’t exclusive to junior associates.) Although reviewers may use a variety of words such as proactive, cool-headed, assertive, or self-confident, they are generally looking to see to what extent the attorney is able to present himself or herself as a leader, as someone who is self-confident enough to inspire the confidence of others. That person usually contributes to conversations, asks insightful questions, and is willing to express an opinion or defend a position.
Interactions with someone who lacks this level of trust tend to leave others (supervising attorneys and clients alike) unsure of the message being conveyed. Does lack of contribution indicate lack of understanding? Boredom? Something completely different? It can be difficult to interpret what is going on, but the result is a lack of clarity and an unwillingness to trust the attorney whose self-presentation is found to be lacking. The consequences can be significant, including unduly slow career progression (or even termination) and difficulty building client relationships.
For example, I was working with a client (let’s call him Tom) who was hoping to become a partner and started training to strengthen his performance so that he would be a strong candidate. He had noticed some comments that made him question whether he was considered dating material. I found Tom to be smart, personable, and funny. I also noticed that when he asked her a question about his work, he downplayed the role he had played. He puzzled me, because I could tell from the type of work he was describing that he was a pain in the ass, but hearing him speak, he was simply supporting the work done by others. One day, Tom said that a particular concern he had about becoming a partner was that no one seemed to regard his work as important or noteworthy. He explained the evidence of his feeling and then I asked permission to share an observation.
I told him that when he described his own work, he minimized and underestimated his contribution. To hear him tell the story, he contributed just over hours, and certainly nothing critical in terms of strategy or deep analysis. But when I specifically asked and pressed, he would tell me about the tasks that he had done and the decisions that he had made that were quite high level. My assessment was that because he was so careful not to exaggerate his contribution, and perhaps felt so uncomfortable being in the spotlight, he didn’t give anyone a fair chance to understand the type and level of work he was doing. .
We devised a plan for Tom to share more about his work and found that when he changed his communication style and became more open about what he was doing, people began to appreciate the scope of his work and understand what he was capable of. making. He got more and better jobs, and felt that others’ perception of him was more accurate.
Michelle, another client, was upset to receive a review indicating that some clients did not want to speak with her because they felt she did not have sufficient knowledge of the proper legal strategy to achieve their goals. When asked for more details, a reluctant partner admitted that while he knew Michelle understood exactly what was at stake and how to advance clients’ interests, her comments were often peppered with words like maybe and possibly and her inflection was so questioning who just didn’t seem sure what he was saying. The result was that her communications undermined her trust in her even though he knew he was almost always right in what he said. After making a concerted effort to notice the habits the couple identified, Michelle began to speak with more authority and clarity, which over time (and along with other changes Michelle made) increased the trust others placed in her. What did Michelle say?
How do you know if your presence is not as strong as it should be?
Here are three common signs:
- You create “wiggle room” with your choice of words or with your vocal inflection.
- You feel the need to speak or ask a question, but you stop in your tracks, and then someone says what you’ve been thinking and you feel frustrated. (Or you talk but your comments don’t get noticed much, and then someone else actually says the same thing and gets more attention.)
- You will find that you generally speak much less often than others in a meeting. (But this can be a sign of strong presence if, when you speak, others make a big deal out of your comments.)
