On the surface, it seems that we make decisions and choices of our own volition. But when we dig deeper, we realize that given the circumstances, we make the only possible choice based on our programming. For example, you must choose between two jobs. The interviewer in the first narrowed his eyes unpleasantly and reminded you of your father who used to beat you. You didn’t even notice it consciously, but your subconscious already made the decision to walk away from this job. You are now consciously piling up the pros and cons to have something tangible to justify your decision, without even realizing that the decision has already been made. In the end, of course, one “chooses” the second job after having experienced quite a bit of worry, fear of being wrong, and indecision. It seems that you made the choice of your own free will, but did you really? And if not, if you were always going to end up with the second job, were the previous sleepless nights worth it?
Of course, the above scenario is not the only way we make decisions. Here’s another. Consider a young man who is dating a few women and settles for the obviously “wrong” choice. “Is he blind?” asks everyone “Why leave the sweet girl for that bitch?” But why not? What choice did he really have? Assuming we all come here with a script, there are certain things that not only can’t be avoided but must be experienced in order to learn, grow and evolve. So we “made the decision” to support each other on that journey. We really have no say in what will happen, especially when it comes to experiences that will challenge us to rise to higher levels of consciousness (whether we do or not is a different matter). It is as if we are watching a movie in which we play the main role. The movie has already been shot, but we still have to extract the moral of the story. We can’t change the script. But we can keep reminding ourselves that we are observers; we can step back, gain perspective and learn from our own experiences projected on the screen.
Therefore, the young man marries the bitch not because he has made a wrong decision. His union was already in the movie and the only thing left for him now is to learn (trust her intuition, not judge, be more patient, etc.). (No) coincidentally, that bitch is probably reflecting his own dark side and helping him integrate his shadow and elevate his own game. So what should he do now? Leave the wedding? If that’s in the script, he’ll do it. But more importantly, the question here is not what to do, but what to do with it. What attitude is he going to have as he watches his own movie? Will you see him with fear, regret and bitterness, or will he remain in faith, trust, acceptance and unconditional love? He certainly can’t change the movie itself, but he can change his experience as he watches it. And that is worth gold because the quality of our life is not determined by events but by how we experience them.
So if you’re struggling to change your script, stop. Work on your attitude instead so you can experience a higher quality life. After all, this is why we came here: to work on our attitude. It is no coincidence that our script is full of obstacles. They offer opportunities to alter our attitude and thus raise consciousness. Attitude is the key to “change” life. Not that you can really change it. But by changing your attitude, life will look different and you’ll be more likely to enjoy it.
Understand that change begins within. Do not wait for life and circumstances to change to your liking in order to be happy. Instead, be happy first and your circumstances won’t bother you. They will seem like a blessing, an opportunity, a gift. Ask yourself: Are you acting out of greed or out of love? Are you acting out of resistance or acceptance? Are you acting out of revenge or forgiveness? Are you being grateful? Your attitude determines your possibility of happiness. The number of fallen trees in your path will not change. But decide if you will be happy or miserable. And it also determines the quality of your decision-making process. When you focus on who you are instead of what you’re doing, you won’t be as afraid of results. Cultivate integrity, love, forgiveness, patience, faith, trust, and acceptance. This is how you assume the right attitude that effectively changes your programming. And once you watch your movie from a superior program, the results (decisions, choices, etc.) will just follow effortlessly and you won’t be tormented in the process.
In conclusion, if you want a good life, you must work to control life’s circumstances (which will bring you marginal satisfaction but leave you exhausted and ultimately dissatisfied). However, if you want a great life, work on your attitude. This way you align yourself with destiny gracefully. You are not afraid of fate; the increasingly exhausting need to control life is simply not there. It is what it is, and you don’t ask for more or less.
