It seems that there is a growing social problem that affects many families and that is the lack of respect for grandparents. Grandparents of all ages, races, cultural and socioeconomic differences find it difficult to visit their grandchildren. Some grandparents have become alienated to the point of losing all access to a beloved grandchild, while others navigate a bumpy road to connectivity.
Gone are the days when parents depended on grandparents for child care; the nanny has replaced that role. Gone are the days when grandparents lived on the street when they enjoyed being an integral part of the extended family; geographic mobility changed that.
Another factor in the disappearance of traditional grandparents it has to do with the current state of parenting. Today’s grandparents, who by the way are the parents of the child’s parents, find themselves facing the “me” generation of adults in their 30s and 40s who have since adopted a new set of family values. These grandparents as parents of this entitled generation wanted to give their children a better life and along the way they simply gave them too much. Over-indulgence, therefore, created selfish individuals who cannot express gratitude, appreciation, or respect, but are all about them.
So, to reiterate, grandparents are no longer necessary, they often live far away and the parents’ attitudes have taken on a tone of indifference.
Those grandparents who have grown apart and also those who are hanging by a thread as they struggle to stay connected with their grandchildren find themselves in a place they never could have imagined.
Awareness is vital to solve the problem. Once grandparents understand that they are not alone and that resources are available, they are more open to seeking help.
The support and understanding of those who have experienced similar circumstances is a necessary coping strategy. Education is essential for resolution, and it is the grandparents who will become the students of change, not the parents. Those who seek help are the most capable of change. Grandparents have to learn as quickly as possible to follow the rules dictated by parental authority if they want to preserve the grandparent-grandchild relationship.
Surely times have changed and instead of becoming obsolete grandparents may want to think about embracing it instead of fighting it.
Are grandparents becoming obsolete? Are they no longer needed?
From the number of help requests and books sold, it appears to be the case.
