I’ve known this for as long as I can remember that I rank quite high in the procrastinator league. But recently, I caught myself beating my own personal best. For months, I’ve been stuck in a rut.
The problem: how it managed to spread and evolve
Initially my problem was that I used to lose motivation as I went from having an idea to planning and finally to the execution stage. But there used to be some juice left during the run. And now, I seem to be very aware from the moment I have a new idea that I’m never actually going to work for it.
Last year, I planned to open a YouTube channel so that I can start sharing my ideas through videos. I thought it would be a more effective and interesting way to publish information and move from ‘idea’ to ‘execution’ stage faster. But the process of learning how to professionally shoot and edit the footage took a long time. So I decided to work on a different type of YouTube channel solely for the purpose of learning photography and editing. and that’s how live without advertising came alive
It wasn’t very good, but it was a good learning experience to start with. And I could see that it was already way ahead of many old YouTube channels in terms of video quality and editing. But the best part was that I found YouTube channels of some great professional photographers, filmmakers, and editors. Therefore, it was not all in vain.
What made it worse?
The second wave of COVID in India stopped everything when I got infected. I was unable to edit a video we shot in the month of April 21. Also, our next guests began to have doubts about shooting in the middle of the pandemic. But at the time, I thought I had a good reason not to go ahead and take a much-needed break.
The real problem started after that. I don’t know if it was one of the side effects of COVID or just my ever-evolving habit of procrastinating, but that break did nothing to reinvigorate me. As time went on, I found that my habit of procrastinating and procrastinating had only become more constant.
And then I realized…
And then came the era of realizations that made things worse than they really were. I realized that I started writing this blog to use it as a journal. I remember attending a virtual meeting with the Addthis developers. I think they were in the early stages of bringing a Google advertising-as a publishing program. One of the guys asked what the purpose of my blog was and I told him that I intended to use it as a journal.
Today, when I look at my blog, I realize that it has gone from being a journal to a lifestyle and news website, to an abandoned web page. And the author has not written a word for almost a year. He makes me feel guilty and ashamed. He had never let the busyness of my life get in the way of the things I do for pleasure. And writing has always given me great pleasure.
And finally – The solution!
After mulling things over for millions of hours, trying to figure out the best way to deal with this time loop in my quantum realm, I can finally figure things out. And the gist is: my procrastination is like my friend with benefits. It’s nice to have him around when I’m feeling down and looking to take a break. But I sleep with this friend even when I should be concentrating on more important things. And all this is turning into a guilty pleasure.
This is not the type of friend who would tell you to get up and work because that is exactly what you should be doing. This is a friend you need to have just to have fun.
And the lesson is: I’m done enjoying fun nights with this ‘fun friend.’ And now that the guilt of being complacent is making me miserable, it’s better to stop seeing this friend for a while. So my dear procrastination, I know you know no limits. Let’s take a break from each other before our beautiful relationship turns toxic and ruins one of us. And we both know it’s going to be me!
