The divorce rate in the United States is staggering. I’m sure you know that more than half of all first marriages fail, and more than sixty percent of all second marriages fail. Unfortunately, those statistics aren’t much better for ministers. If you are in ministry, whether you are a pastor, musician, or evangelist, or whatever area of ministry you are in, your divorce affects not only you and your spouse, but everyone in your congregation and everyone who follows the ministry. . That is why it is important that you stop your divorce, for your sake and for the sake of the ministry.
Right now though, I’m sure stats are of little value to you, so let me give you something that is of real value.
You can stop your divorce and you CAN get your ministry back.
Here’s a little tip to get you started:
The first step.
Your first step in getting your spouse and ministry back is to STOP ARGUEING, stop BLAMING, and STOP causing any kind of friction. You will never win back your spouse’s love by arguing with them, right? Arguing drives them further apart.
Second,
Do not use the ministry as a source of guilt against your spouse.
You see, making your husband or wife feel guilty about what they’ve done… leaving you and the children or discontinuing the ministry… just makes it harder for them to come back to you… and ultimately instance, to his ministerial work. Not only that, it is a null argument for them. I mean, you know what the Bible says about divorce, and you left anyway, right? Don’t use guilt against your spouse. It’s a wasted cause, and it only makes things worse for you.
Third,
Don’t stop your ministry. I know it can be difficult, and some congregations will expel you immediately if they know you are facing a divorce, but it is important to keep your ministry alive one way or another. You could minister in nursing homes or start your own ministry, right? If you stop doing what you love to do, it will only make you LESS attractive to your spouse, even if you were told that he quit because he doesn’t want to be in ministry. The reason you were given for leaving, no matter what it was, probably isn’t the real reason anyway.
Four,
Don’t get stuck in the “I’ll pray about it and if God wants to save my marriage, he will” mentality.
Of course God wants you to save your marriage! He designed marriage to be for life, right? So why would it be his will for you to get a divorce? In the same way that he told Adam and Eve to work the land in order to live, he expects us to work our relationships in order to survive.
Finally,
don’t give up It may seem hopeless. It may seem like your marriage is over. You may be experiencing a backlash against your ministry because of your difficulties in your marriage. For some reason, people expect a minister to be free from any kind of fight. But what greater testimony to his congregation than a marriage that THERE IS NO hope, that has been saved. How inspiring is that? Eventually you can use your difficulties to help your ministry.
How can I know? I’ve been there. And I saved my marriage and my ministry after implementing these and other tips I was given.
