I have heard countless parents of teens tell me that they feel overwhelmed on a daily basis and “feel burned out” by their lives. They also often report feeling guilty for feeling this way, which makes them feel worse because they feel like they “shouldn’t” feel so overwhelmed. Parents in this situation often report not sleeping well, having a short fuse, feeling like they can’t get everything done in the day, not getting along with their spouses, never having time for themselves or even that they consume alcohol to relax at night because they feel that they cannot relax alone.
The fact that I am writing this newsletter tells you that there are many parents who have had this experience. Being a parent is a big and demanding commitment, and being the parent of a teen brings even more challenges. Parents often juggle transporting teens, picking them up and getting them ready for school (usually not an easy or pleasant task), keeping track of school meetings, working or taking care of the home, or both on top of it. your own daily needs. It’s easy for parents to get lost in the hustle and bustle and then realize that they never do anything for themselves and feel like others are constantly “taking from them.” Parents in this situation are also likely to resent it at some point, often resulting in them having marital conflicts or poor relationships with others. It is important for a parent in this situation, or those heading into this situation, to make some changes that will reduce their overall stress. Listed below are some examples of things parents can do.
Tips for parents:
1. Simplify your schedule. Look at a “typical” weekly schedule and identify all standing appointments, transportation, games, meetings, etc. what you have to do. Then search to see if any can be combined, deleted, or shared with someone else. After doing this, try to book other appointments that come up in a way that makes sense and minimizes the amount of time or days you drive from one appointment to another.
2. Simplify your housework. Look at all the household responsibilities you take care of each week and see if any can be reduced. For example: are there areas of the house that don’t really need regular deep cleaning? Can your teens pick up an item or two to cut down on time spent cleaning or doing laundry? Can you use a grocery delivery service? which many times are not more expensive, to eliminate trips to the store?
3. Keep dinner parties simple. Cook just enough to have leftovers or make easier meals that will save you time. Think about whether there is a way to make the dinner process faster and easier.
4. Remember that sometimes you have to say “no.” If your teen is always asking you to do things at the last minute or embarrassing you in front of your friends for a ride, it’s absolutely appropriate for you to say “no” and that you need to be more of a planner. -full about such things.
5. Make time for yourself a priority. Figure out something you can do each week that is just for you. Whether it’s taking an exercise class, playing golf or a lesson of some kind, taking a long bath, taking a walk, going to the library, or any other activity you enjoy, the point is to make it a priority. . Schedule it so nothing else can be scheduled and the time you reserve is really your time.
You shouldn’t feel guilty about setting limits on your time or scheduling time for yourself. You have to be able to relax and enjoy things for yourself. Doing this will ultimately make you more available and useful to others who depend on you.
