powerful tool
Self forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools of practical spirituality and spiritual psychology. I learned these principles in 1986 while studying for my master’s degree in spiritual psychology at the University of Santa Monica, and have used them almost daily ever since with myself and hundreds of clients.
Insidious judgments stand in the way of a happy and effective life and love. Self-forgiveness can help you with your growth and success, and it can help clear anything that is standing between you and Spirit. “Open the door” to the inner Kingdom. You can use Self Forgiveness to stay clear in the moment, or in depth for deep personal healing and sacred inner realignment.
This process is not intended to excuse liability. If you need to make amends, do it.
How can you tell when you are judging yourself?
- When you feel guilty or ashamed.
- When you say or think, “I ought, Yo should not, Yo has to, Yo I have to, Yo ought,” etc.
- When you say or think, I am “too much” of anything, “I can’t”, “I’m not enough”, etc. You can trace these clues in your self-talk to an “irrational belief” and related self-judgment.
- If you are upset, unbalanced, stuck, immobilized or mentally criticizing yourself…
when you realize are judging yourself:
Begin where you are, with any self-criticisms you identify at this time, and make self-forgiveness statements as indicated below. Forgive yourself… the sooner the better, and as many times as necessary to experience a change to a much clearer, lighter and more positive emotional energy.
Examples: Sorry for the value judgments you made to yourself. Most personal judgments fall into this emotionally charged category. “I forgive myself for judging myself ace ruining my marriage. I forgive myself for judging myself ace a failure. I forgive myself for judging me as a rejection and nothing good. I forgive myself for judging myself ace worthy of a good marriage.”
Note: Writing is important! “I forgive myself for being stupid” gives an underlying message that you really are stupid. “I forgive myself for judging me as stupid” implies an error in judgment. You want to release judgment, not heap more negativity on your head!
Sorry for things you really did: “I forgive myself for be angry with myself I forgive myself for without asking for what he really wanted and needed. I forgive myself for throwing darts at a picture of my ex. I forgive myself for smashed the car while I was upset.” To forgive myself for a mistake, I say, “I forgive myself for breaking the vase.”
But if I remain obsessed with the event, or get caught up in negative emotions, I move on to forgiveness of value judgments. “I forgive myself for judging myself clumsy.”
In the end, your intention to forgive yourself is probably more important than the exact words. But becoming aware of the wording can help you clarify and eliminate the confusion around your self-criticisms. Daily practice will help you gain the ability to free yourself from self-judgment in a profound way.
For more tips on practicing self-forgiveness, see my article on this website, Practical Spirituality: Tips for Self-Forgiveness.
