Recently, on my weekly relationship radio show in Atlanta, I had the privilege of interviewing relationship coach Bj Moorer. Bj has a slightly different view of the world of relationships.
Bj’s engaging take on relationships is best summed up in the title of his new eBook “Love, Lies, Men and Women: The Lies We Tell and the Harm They Cause.”
In the series she’s creating, Bj looks at the lies men tell women, the lies women tell men, and the lies couples tell each other about their relationship. While Bj covers all the different types of lies, you have to start somewhere, and Bj starts in Volume 1 of her series with the lies men tell women.
That was the topic of my recent interview with her, and now we’ll take a look at the top 5 lies men tell women.
Lie 1 – “I’ll call you tomorrow” – Men say this so often, and get away with it, because women want to believe it. Bj’s advice is not to wait by the phone for the call and live life. If the call does not arrive in the first days, it does not arrive. Move on.
Lie 2 – “I love you”– Too bad this is a common lie that reduces the value of some precious words. Bj’s caveat is that when it’s said too soon in a relationship, it’s often an attempt to control the other person.
Lie 3 – “I’m not married” – The problem is that most men say this and most adult men are married, so do the math. If you have a hunch he’s bound by this, ask him for his home phone number and see how he responds.
Lie 4 – “Nobody understands me like you do” – This one may be designed to make you feel sorry for him. You know for sure this is just massive manipulation when it’s closely followed by a big request, like borrowing money or asking to move in with you.
Lie 5 – “I’m not dating anyone else” – Well maybe. Pay attention to when and how this information is offered in a relationship. Like some of the other lies, offering this information too soon or when it is not requested is a big warning sign that someone is trying to trick you.
One powerful piece of advice offered by Coach Bj is to trust your gut. If something doesn’t make sense or doesn’t add up, go after it. Don’t try to talk him out of it or excuse his intuition. Pay attention.
