Award-winning gospel singer-songwriter Kirk Franklin confessed to being addicted to pornography many years ago. It was a shock to both the Christian and secular communities because most people believe that Christians are immune from falling into sins that have such drastic consequences. For this reason, I’m sure many Christian women wonder if their husbands could become prey to the same monster that threatened to destroy Kirk Franklin’s marriage.
While it is typical for Christian men to get lost in the deceptive world of pornography, Christian women can often become victims of this same sin. You may ask, “How can a Christian woman get this far by getting caught up in porn?” There are many reasons. She:
– You might have been exposed to pornography as a child by a family member or friend.
– Mistakenly stumbled upon a magazine/Internet site as a child or in her youth
– Experience as an adult before or after marriage
– Watch raunchy shows like Desperate Wives, soap operas or other shows and movies with very pornographic overtones.
Being exposed to all of these things can weave a web of pain, deception, and sadly, a curiosity that makes a woman yearn for more than is forbidden. While many women believe that they mean well when they look at porn, this can lead them into a secret world that is very difficult to escape from.
Furthermore, pornography is readily available on television and on the computer; therefore, one wrong click or change of the remote can change the course of your destiny for the worse.
The devil would love to use pornography as a method to destroy marriages and so many other things in a woman’s life because it is so subtle and seductive at first. Porn is presented as an escape from reality, but the problem is that, in most cases, once a woman embarks on that journey, it is very difficult to return to normal. She can become a fortress (a trap set by the enemy to keep you captive), which needs to be constantly fed. To do this, the enemy provides the following lies. He says that porn can:
1. “Stimulate and increase sexual desire and passion within your marriage.”
Many times I have found myself looking at a magazine, while standing in the supermarket checkout line, when I see a headline that reads, “Discover How Porn Can Strengthen Your Relationship!” While viewing porn can make you feel more erotic, it ultimately makes you focus on sexual activity instead of pleasing your husband.
2. “Make you want your husband more.” When you watch porn, you don’t see your husband engaging in sexual activity, but another man with another woman. Porn makes you focus on the image of the men (or women) you saw in the video.
3. “It helps you be more intimate with your husband.”
Intimacy involves sharing your heart, mind, body, and spirit with your husband. If anything, viewing porn can destroy the intimacy you’ve built with your husband because you no longer share yourself exclusively with him. But now you are sharing it with a fantasy that you have created based on what you have seen in the video or in an image. In essence, you are committing mental adultery.
4. “You’re not hurting anyone.”
Yes you are! In addition to hurting yourself by turning away from God and hindering your relationship with Him, you are separating yourself from your husband. Why? Because you are constantly focused on the porn, the images you have seen and the sounds you have heard. In fact, it could cause you to make unfair comparisons between your husband and the unrealistic men he sees. And what if your kids catch you watching porn? What happens if they are exposed to it and become addicted?
5. “It’s not addictive.” This is probably the most deceitful lie that the enemy tells people. While a woman can watch soap operas, videos, and the Internet a few times without turning back, every time she sees this kind of perverted media, she undermines her integrity. She also gives him a perverted perception of sex and other people. She also puts something in her heart that will eventually lead her back to the forbidden fruit of porn. It can be as addictive as crack or heroin.
For this reason, porn addiction requires a strong desire to seek release. You must apply the action via:
– Prayer for deliverance (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
– Fasting, when necessary (Matthew 17:21).
– Bible study/research (2 Timothy 2:15)
– Outside help such as Christian counseling and/or a trusted female responsibility partner who
cares about you and is rooted in Christ. (Proverbs 11:14)
While viewing pornography can be very damaging to a woman’s family, her fellowship with Christ, her heart, and her marriage, deliverance is possible. In fact, Kirk Franklin, who was delivered from the destructive power of pornography, now bears witness that all things are possible through Christ. These “all things” don’t just include celebrities, they also include you and any issues you might have a problem with, including porn!
