Before they started the negotiating, heaped constant prayers upon her. She blushed and wondered if he had a deeper affinity. Finally, she said, “okay, enough with the driving efforts, let’s get down to business.” To which he replied, “I’ve been talking business all along.” That’s when she said in a sarcastic tone, “From the way you were behaving, I thought you wanted to go out with me. “At that moment, she got a bit crestfallen. It was then that she realized that her prayers had been perceived as manipulation. She had done a great deal.” mistake! Do you know how to avoid manipulation errors in the negotiation?
Read on and you will discover how to avoid and use manipulation in your negotiations.
Handling – good – bad – it depends:
Whether someone feels manipulated depends on their perspective. If you ask most people what the definition of manipulation is, they will say that it is a negative act. It may mean taking advantage of applied skill to do so. It can also mean skillfully approaching a process or treatment, in this case neutral, neither negative nor positive.
Before you engage someone in a negotiation, understand their perspective of prayer, deference, and appreciation of one’s accomplishments. And be careful not to be perceived as effusive. You don’t want your intention to be misunderstood.
Error handling:
Some negotiators enter a negotiation not knowing how their actions are perceived. Those individuals should acquire greater negotiation skills.
Smart negotiators know that every action can be scrutinized to reveal hidden agendas. They look for body language cues to indicate indifference to offers and counteroffers.
Failure to observe opens the door to misperception. When you see signs that you are perceived as ignorant or a liar, those may be signs that you have stepped into the realm of making manipulative mistakes. Seek feedback on how they perceive you and, if necessary, clarify your intent.
Body Language Compliance:
When detecting perceived manipulation through someone’s body language, there are a few signs to watch for.
- Head butt to both sides: This gesture indicates interest. You may be saying, where is this going? Take note of the number of times the head moves from one side of the body to the other. That will indicate a greater intention to get more information about what is being said. Look for other signs to add deeper meaning to head-tilting gestures. Smiles, along with interruptions, can contribute to that perception.
- Smiles – A smile does not necessarily mean agreement. With perceived manipulation, a smile can indicate, let’s see how far it will go. I don’t think he’s saying that though.
If you are in doubt about the meaning of a gesture, ask how it is perceived. Some people find themselves on a slippery slope because they don’t recognize the first step. Don’t let that happen to you.
- Interruptions: When someone interrupts you, they want to alter what they are listening to. You may be asked to cite your case differently for clarity.
The point is that they are looking for more information. Take the head. They may be pointing out hidden thoughts that indicate they have become more in tune with what you are saying. Understand why this is so.
Management Use:
Management can be an effective tool if used correctly. To do so, understand the other individual’s mindset and their limits on perceived effusiveness and disrespect. Those boundaries will be the sweet spot to place your compliments. Border those limits and you will enter murky waters.
The best time to manipulate someone is when you slightly alter what they already believe to be true. It’s even better if you’ve established trust first. Therefore, the more they are seen in your reflection, the greater the opportunity for manipulation.
Be careful not to overuse this technique. It can have deadly consequences in a negotiation. Always treat your opponent with the utmost respect. If you don’t intentionally manipulate someone to harm them, you’ll get higher negotiation results…and all will be right with the world.
Remember, you are always negotiating!
Listen to Greg’s podcast made https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator
