It is hard to see your child go through difficult times. If you’ve ever wondered “why can’t my son find a girlfriend?” so I have a few possible reasons that we’ve discussed on the dating women radio show that I co-host.
By the way, the advice you’ll get here is G-rated. Our goal is to get good women and good men into long-term relationships so you don’t have any sex talk here!
Is your child a “good boy”?
This is a great attribute to have, but could it be too good? There are guys on our show who are too happy to be with women. Everyone around these guys is surprised that they don’t have a girlfriend because they would treat someone so well. The problem is that “nice guys” like this want to do too much, too soon, for the object of their affection.
Let’s put it this way, what if you walked into your local car dealership and declared that you would pay anything for the new car you just saw on the lot? Do you think you will make your best deal that day?
The same with women.
If he tells her (through his actions) that no matter what he “will pay” to be with her, then even the best girl will walk all over him and be bored.
You don’t get what you deserve in life, you get what you BARGAIN.
Is your child the best they can be?
Do you care for your mind and body with equal vigor? Women want a man who can talk about things beyond sports and while he doesn’t have to be a supermodel, in our visual society he stands a better chance with MORE women if he’s physically fit, clean and wears nice clothes.
You see, dating is a lot like sales. The better your product, the better chance you have of making a sale. It’s not that you can’t make a sale with a limited selection, but it makes it more difficult.
Put it this way, if you have 2 grocery stores next to each other and one has the basics while the other has the basics plus a seafood stand, a deli that bakes its own bread, and other conveniences, which store has more chances to do more dirty?
Being the best you can be only helps you meet more women. Out of 100 women, maybe 20 are interested in his current form, but he could increase that number to 40 if he is fit and wears nice clothes. It’s not a guarantee, but I like the odds of him with 40 women against 20 better!
Is he too serious with women?
As Cyndi Lauper said in 1985: “Girls just want to have fun.” Do you remember that song? It applies to dating and relationships with women. We tell guys all the time to keep things light and fun when you go out. You want to laugh and have a good time on a date.
If your child doesn’t have that kind of personality, encourage him to study the comedy greats, rent movies by Cary Grant (who was the most romantic figure in movie history), and take improv or comedy classes.
Is it a mystery and a challenge?
This is related to the “nice guy” entry at the beginning of the article. Women like to WONDER about a guy they’re interested in. We tell guys not to tell girls anything personal about themselves during the course of a date and to wait 5-9 days between dates to call them. We also tell them NOT to ask for a date on a date.
Basically, you want her to do most of the talking, laugh a lot, and then wonder if your son will call back. Her interest level naturally rises in a guy she can’t understand and is hard to get.
Is he a gentleman?
Eyes focused on her. He pulls out the chair. She walks outside. Keep your door open for her. No sexual comments. Make her laugh (see how important this is since I mentioned it again?).
Also, you need to be strong enough to be able to say no. If she is giving him static and he knows that she is being cheated on, then she has to defend herself. Too many guys are just happy to date her because they are attracted to her. If I am giving respect, I expect respect to be returned. A good woman will appreciate that she cannot walk all over her child.
Boys today have lost the art of chivalry, but good girls still want a knight!
Too many compliments and gifts?
You are allowed to give 2 compliments. When you pick her up, you can tell her that she looks good. When he leaves her, he can tell her that she had fun. Tell her NOT to give flowers, candy or anything like that.
Listen, I’m in the business of giving compliments, flowers, candy, thoughtful cards, and other forms of affection to a woman, whether she’s my girlfriend, fiancée, or wife. However, in the INITIAL stages of dating, compliments and gifts are perceived as a feeble attempt to buy her affection.
If excessive gifts and compliments really worked, then every rich man with a glib tongue would be in a happy relationship and poor, shy men would be alone forever.
Remember, she doesn’t respond to her son by GIVING him excessive amounts of things, whether it’s her attention or gifts. She wants to laugh, have fun but also WONDER how many women are after her son.
Do you put yourself in the right position to meet women?
Do you play online on Friday nights and then go to the nightclub on Saturday and then to the sports bar on Sunday? These could be the wrong places to meet great women.
Online dating, speed dating, volunteer events, wine tasting, cooking classes, and dance classes are viable options for meeting great women. Also, in those settings, you have a better chance of getting to know her as a person, and of course we want your son to have a woman who has a flexible and generous personality who is clinically healthy!
If you have ever wondered “why can’t my son find a girlfriend?”, I hope this article has helped you.
